my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
