Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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