Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize