They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
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I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
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Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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