I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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