Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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