at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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