I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
