its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize