just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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