Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
