saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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