Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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