Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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