u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You left your phone here
Wait...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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