Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize