I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
that's an acceptable place to lick
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
