please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
