9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
