i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
