I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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