I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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