Sponge bath it is.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
