You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
