found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
