real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
