oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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