Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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