You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
