Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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