I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
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wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
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She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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