I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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