mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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