Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
