I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
