So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
