I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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