You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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