The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
