Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
