i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
