I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
