Soap is not a condiment
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
