I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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