she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
