just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Pants are for mortals
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
