if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
