Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
