Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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