This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
