i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
