Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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