hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
