Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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