Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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