do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
