their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize