Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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